Hard Venus-Saturn natal aspects: Love unbound

If you have the square, conjunction and opposition of Venus and Saturn in your natal chart this article is for you.

These aspects differ in flavor and outcome but have a common theme that is important to acknowledge. What actually happens is that if you have these aspects you are a person that is very affectionate and caring about other people and you take your relationships VERY seriously. The problem is that for whatever reason usually stemming from how you grew up and your early social experiences related to what you value and your self-esteem you tend to kind of have misplaced affection.

You tend to withdraw from the other person you love just when the relationship starts to open up and actually offer you intimacy and connection. When the relationship becomes intimate you experience a sense of fear that this relationship needs to follow the RULES or you can’t follow your heart.

You really desire solid, good, reliable and loyal relationships. You care a lot and have a strong sense of what is right and wrong in society. You have very good ethics and ideas about how relationships should be like to be considered “good”, anything that is below that standard you won’t commit to.

You can have many relationships in your life that don’t fit the rules but you will never marry or commit fully unless they fit your idea of what is “right”. The sad truth is it is really a way of thinking is something you cling to because it is masking and hiding your own sense of VULNERABILITY.

These ideas you hold about relationships having to follow steps, stages, rules, morals is really a mechanism you developed over time to protect yourself.

You just don’t like fully marching into something that in fact really be good for you. You learned as a child and as a teen from several probably shaking experiences that connection to other people is at times scarring. You wanted to connect but it was blocked or someone to said you had to be a certain way to receive it.

Maybe you had to act like a responsible adult or maybe you just had to follow the rules someone else made to deserve the love you wanted. The giving from other people was blocked and so you learned love and care is conditional. You started to believe only if you followed a certain path you would deserve love. As an adult you now believe you need to hold a high standard for yourself and other people. The exact reason or way this showed in your life would depend on the signs and houses of Saturn and Venus.

Generally speaking, you have this sense of “I’m not good enough”. You may believe that only when or if you reach some goal you can start having the relationship you dream of.

“I’m not good enough until I…Have a career”

“I’m not good enough until I…Look better”

“I’m not good enough until I…Prove my talents”

There is always a reason why you or the other person is not good enough to fully open up your heart. The tricky thing with this aspect is that often you can become just us blocking towards others who want to get closer to you. Secretly you are deeply hurt or angry about how you were treated. Often times, you have a great relationship with someone especially if other indicator in your natal chart point to that until that person wants to fully hug you, love you and care for you and suddenly you recoil because the hurt part of you wakes up. That fear makes you start thinking how that person might actually not be trustworthy or “up to the standard”. This is your mind trying to protect you from what it remembered caused it pain.

I am not saying you shouldn’t have standards and protect yourself but if a relationship has proved itself over time to be good and loyal don’t let those thoughts take over. If you start thinking that your partner needs to prove themselves to you or follow some formal behavior that is SATURN at work.

The truth is no one will ever find love safe because love needs vulnerability.

Is it worth the risk?


I don’t think you should change who you are. I do think you should be aware of why patterns in your relationships repeat. The good side of hard Venus-Saturn aspects is that you are very capable of having high quality relationships that are long lasting and loyal.

I should also mention that often this can manifest in you choosing very irresponsible people who would eventually reject you or not want to commit. It is important to strike a balance between standards and an open heart.

Wrong person for a Venus-Saturn native: Irresponsible, childish, fearing commitment, lacking morals or goals.

If you find yourself choosing immature people who you need to treat like a parent or a boss this means you are trying to heal your own trauma and you still believe you are not good enough. Someone who can make you feel safe and you can rely on would help you make the best of this aspect.

I want to end this article by saying I don’t agree with Astrologers who say these aspects suggests you will always stay alone. It is true you can marry later in life or take time to do it. You may feel you need to wait or accomplish something in life first and that is okay. The important thing is to value yourself not for what you accomplish or only when other people say you are worthy.


17 thoughts on “Hard Venus-Saturn natal aspects: Love unbound”

  1. I read your article. I am a Saturn Venus person n it’s located in my 8th house. I never felt the love from my family, I was a late bloomer In terms of looks , and most my relationships failed until a year ago I met my boyfriend. I’m 34 and he is 5 years younger than me. Saturn Venus combination can be a curse but yet, a boon. It’s not an easy life as you may face disappointments and betrayals by your closed ones but it will definitely help you to fetch solid relationships at a later stage of your life.

    1. Thank you for reading! And most importantly reminding other Saturn-Venus people that it takes time.
      Solid, secure, loyal, tangible, quality relationships are your blessings. I can only imagine the hardships of a 8th house emphasis with this aspect…But also possibility for gain if the self-esteem goes up.
      There is some idea it is better to form partnerships marriage after age of 30/36.

  2. I loved this one, too! 😀 Very on point. The positive growth-type note is very much appreciated, that’s what I always miss. (The Leo Moon was really, really great, too. Took lots of notes again. I’m saying it here, so I’m not commenting in fifteen places, heh, I feel like a excited little child, opening a little treasure box on the attic with every new article that fits my chart (: )
    @ Agrud, I’m really happy to hear that you found a good love, and sorry about your family! I hope you get all the love you deserve now!

    Venus Sag 11th square Saturn Pisces 2nd over here. I’m squaring up. Sorry, pun. Heh.
    Every sort of connection w someone kinda makes me feel like an exposed nerve. I unconsciously mold myself to assumed expectations + hate being vulnerable. But I do come from a warm nest; well-meaning parents, only child. But the nest comes with a conservative idea of right/wrong, strong opinions, v. critical towards others (dress, behave, job etc) – and my freedom-let-live-accept-everyone heart has always bummed against it, I think. but I’ve always been very easily discouraged & sensitive in gen. but also to criticism and opinions, that’ll make me change my mind quickly (damn Neptune conjunct Sun opposite Moon), so yeah. I read about it before, but this article really drives it home, simple and to the point (:

    ❤ part, too, btw, that balance between not throwing up walls, but also not letting in the wrong ones in…is like…people don't come w manuals at first glance…but my last and first bf (was 20-22 then,) was emotionally immature and self unaware, but he had all the good intentions, so I caught on too late…I felt like I was far too demanding in his presence, and my energy too strong, but also unheard and invisible…really cut into my sense of self and hope for love etc, even tho he remembers it as being good for the most part, so prob me being hypercritical of myself. but now I’m rebuilding my idea of love and relationships and my self confidence, nobody teaches you this stuff, so working on this aspect is very useful (: It's in a 0.21 orb, so…the force ain't with me, hahah.

    At one point, I’m gonna ask for a Pluto Reading! I'm also really compelled by the Venus one now, obv. But I’m definitely looking forward to a more in depth look at growth points/understanding of how to go about myself in my chart in a self-developmental context, with your perspective and fun wisdom/psych-y twists on it (: yellow brick road of growth – here I come, heh. (and thnx for the comment on the mars/pluto one! (: I’m still deconstructing it, hehe, but the fear part was so on point, and I'd seen that written nowhere, so that was a good feeling!) Just a question, do you also use lilith and/or chiron in your pluto reading? Just curious (:


    1. Thank you for your meaningful feedback. Very Leo Moon of you 🙂
      Yes, it is hard for people to balance vulnerability and boundaries. I truly think it is something we are not taught and need to learn as adults.
      I am glad you are rebuilding your sense of love! Many people give up on it after not being able to express it in alignment with their Self and another person.
      Jupiter traditionally rules both Sagittarius and Pisces so this is in an interesting natal square to have between Venus and Saturn. It is also a very intense pull between utter freedom and utter bonding. Saturn people do tend to have parents with strong ideas about right and wrong and those can turn very heavy and rigid for the person.
      Because Jupiter/Neptune are the planets of ideals I can see how you also have something very high to strive for due to their example of how “it should be”.
      p.s What psych-y twists do you mean?

      1. Oh haha, I tend to be creative w/ words when expressing myself at a speed, and then forget other people don’t naturally always derive the same meaning from them – it’s a thing. But I meant psychological twists on it; twists because they surprise me, not because I assume you’ve turned into a magician tryin’ to sell me anything other than what you are, heh – like a bend in the road leading to something new and interesting to discover and explore. Learning more about myself is like a treasure trove to me. A mystery that keeps unfolding. And you seem to have a really good grasp of how the planetary energies and the psyche interact. Hencewhy. 😉
        I’ve been reading through your ‘good books for astrology’ page – very interesting. I am now very curious what the weird books are, haha, and especially why they’re weird.
        My Venus conjuncts my Jupiter (same house and sign), so that’s also very interesting to know – astrology really unfolds all those many layers of the psyche, it’s very interesting. Did you learn to combine planets and their psychological influence like that from lots of reading, and gaining cumulative knowledge? Or is there a specific book out the list that really gets into that? (Such as 8th and 10th are related to fear.) I’m very curious. Feel like a student raising her hand, haha.
        p.s. do you involve lilith/chiron’s influence in your reading?

      2. Don’t worry I actually understand your language and tend to speak like that myself. You have a very infectious glittery language.

        I am also learning and there is always so much to discover! It truly is infinite. The hunt for information and self-discovery can be very alluring.
        Venus-Jupiter is very auspicious and generous combo. I don’t personally know anyone with a Venus conjunct Jupiter but plenty of famous examples (writers, teachers, new age public speakers).
        Because our psyche is infinite so is astrology. The most beautiful thing about it is that it helps people accept themselves in a very deep way.

        Now, to your questions: I will be honest with you that I did no learn astrology through books. I did read a lot…Mainly natal charts.
        Everyday. I recommend starting with your own chart to get a good feel for it and also charts of people you know. The books came later and helped me give it all more structure. Plus, it is just enjoyable to read as a topic. But yes absolutely the very basics is all you need! If you learn the archetype of Mars and the 8th house and combine it with the other factors it will get you there. . I also recommend using the astro-data bank for themes profession or life circumstances and look at the charts to compare.

        Everyone learns differently so you can choose what feels most like a “hunt” for you. The excitement you feel is probably the most important thing with astrology because if you are not excited it just becomes lifeless.
        In my current readings I only mention Chiron or Lilith if they are in conjunction with a planet or angle. I am not saying they don’t matter but there is more than enough for 20 readings in just the “basic” natal chart without getting into astroids, points and all sorts of other calculations.
        And don’t get me started with Vedic astrology and other systems.

        I was thinking about offering a symbolic reading that would look a the the mythological stories of the psych and astroids at one point. I am not sure how helpful that will be to anyone but it can be interesting. I personally have Lilith conjunct my Saturn and it still baffles me at times. It has a very Uranian energy and expression. Uranus rules Astrology some say.

        Thank you for stopping by and sharing your journey.

  3. Venus in Gemini ♊️ 9th house Creates an opposition with Saturn in Sagittarius 3rd house ♐️

    How do you see the 3rd/9th house Mercurial/ Jupiter themes play out in regards to relational experiences?

    1. Broad question, but generally, this theme is about growth and information exchange.
      Any relationship becomes an opportunity for experiencing and learning something new. Mercury is taking in information while Jupiter is about expressing it as some type of vision. If this plays out in a Venus-Saturn opposition, one can talk about giving structure (Saturn) to lessons in love (Venus).
      The person is likely to think about the meaning of relationships, love, beauty, compassion, and so forth and try and formulate a world-view. The hard and painful experiences they have will help them clarify what their beliefs and ideas are.

      1. Wow, thank you, this is a beautiful way of interpretation of this aspect. This is in my chart 0° orb! Seeing within this light I can see it as an important tool in building, As oppose to the doom many other information outlets write about it. I have my north node in Aries in the 7th house so I feel relations are that arena of growth and expansion for me.

        Thank you for the perspective!

  4. My boyfriend has his 8th house Venus in scorpio opposite his 2nd house saturn in taurus. And that opposition squares his 11th house mars-uranus in Aquarius conjunction. How would YOU read into that? Does the Uranus and mars take away some of that loyalty? His Scorpio venus also trines his pisces ascendant.

    1. Loyalty is more a matter of values and upbringing. The square you describe can relate to his work, career and the emphasis on (male) friendships above romantic ones. Look at this Moon and if it is well aspected.

      1. HIs moon is exactly conjunct his IC in gemini, and it is trine his mars, but not his uranus because the orb is wide (6 degrees).

  5. Thank for this insightful (and accurate) description. I have a nasty natal T-square first house Venus in cap., 3rd house Aries Saturn conjunct my moon, and 8th house Libra Mars. I am an attractive person – I have no problem attracting people with first house Venus and can be quite charming/charismatic, but people never stick around. It breaks my heart over and over. I have never been married at 53. I had CPTSD that has taken most of my life to overcome. The eternal optimist I still keep trying but love hurts. 😦 I would love some pointers for how to overcome this T-square if you have any bc the message I am repeatedly sent is I am not good enough.

    1. DawnMarie,
      The typical answer with T-squares of any kind is to balance and express them via the apex planet. T-sqaures are very common in successful people because the tension allows overcoming challenges and a deep strong character is the result.
      My impression is that with hard natal Saturn aspects to Venus/Moon there can be a tendency between two extremes: Some people become very guarded and careful about letting anyone in and device an entire worldview why they would rather be alone. They essentially become over critical of any potential partner as a way to guard their heart.
      The second common expression of hard Saturn aspects is the person who becomes VERY self-critical of themselves and also try to take on the responsible adult role with a potential partner who takes on the role of a carefree child.
      You say you are an enteral optimist and perhaps the key for you is actually to balance that by being less willing to let anyone into your life who doesn’t meet the very high standard of Saturn…Instead of being hard on yourself.
      I would also try and see what easy aspects and outlets you have in the chart. Things that come easy for you.
      Venus in Aries + Mars in 8th house= The partner needs to be a fighter and someone you can overcome hard times with. Easy breezy relationships can become tense but facing hard times as a team with a person can make love thrive.
      Venus in Aries also needs to express her vivid femininity and to stand out (doesn’t matter if your 18 or 80!).

      1. TY for your response. I did want to clarify my Venus is in Capricorn, not in Aries.

        I was the first T-square description in the first part of my life and now I would say I am the second way. I am fortunate to have a lovely Venus trine Pluto in my chart so grateful for that. Just makes the T Square harder though bc I want a deep love so much. I will be more careful with being sure that partners are more Saturn approved. 🙂

  6. I have natally Venus in Cancer in the 5th house squaring my Saturn in Aries in the 3rd house, I have always craved relationships, I am 24 years old now and I can say I have had plenty of relationships throughout my life, they all failed due to my insecurities and early childhood trauma that I am now healing through a therapist, people need to understand that with this pasect is the ugly duck type of theme, as you age you get better looking for sure, I am now seeing the benefits of that. Nevertheless, I must say with this aspect is essential to treat yourself with a therapist in order to improve your sense of self and worth and also to resolve all codependency issues or even not being able to express your own feelings. Also I wanted to mention how accurate this article is Pluto, I mean come on now, when you said I am not worthy until I have a degree, or I become beautiful or this or that, hit the nail in the coffin for me personally lol. I do have to say regarding this, is that usually we don’t feel worthy at all, until we accomplish something that our partner reflects onto us, that is what I have realized now. I do have to say and thank you for the advice, to lower my standards, they are too high and sometimes it is almost impossible to achieve, of course not to lower to immature people but sometimes even good people get away because of how much we expect from them and that is a MUST change, but I am still a bit younger and need to work on this, I have been studying astrology for a while so I appreciate you and your page, thank you!

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