Composite charts for true long-lasting love

I would like to share my own observations and thoughts on what makes a good composite chart. Many Astrologers don’t see it that way but this has been something I have learned over time and looking at many charts.

A composite chart is a chart of a relationship between two or more people. It is the magical chemistry that happens when two people become connected in a relationship. Personally, I found composite charts to be VERY important if people want to live together or marry.

Getting along or even falling in love with a person is not enough!

Both people are effected by the third entity- the relationship itself. Constant struggles in sex, finances, health, family relations and general quality of life is shown in the composite chart.

I want to say that a composite chart can work or not work depending on the people. The rules are very individual but what is important is that the relationship is significant, strong and long-lasting enough to grow into something. This post would show you examples of good composite charts.

So what do I like seeing in a composite chart of a couple?

Below is one of the best composite charts I have seen. It belongs to Paul and Linda MacCrtaney.

The composite they shared had a SUPER love-stellium of Sun-Venus-Mercury-Chiron and Pluto. That alone is an indicator of soulmates.

Additionally they have Jupiter AND Moon in easy aspect to this cluster of planets. To make this chart even more amazing (Maybe I’m amazed?) they have a second stellium of Saturn-Mars and Uranus. They really have a balance of something unique and creative and yet realistic. Moon conjunct Neptune show real soul mate connection and deep understanding of each other.

They did struggle from some tension between freedom and structure and maybe other people or strange situations trying to break them up. This is a perfect composite chart in every way. It shows hardships but very strong attachment and a bond based on love.

  1. I want to see that your relationship is SIGNIFICANT. This means that all planets form aspects to each other and most importantly that there is at least one conjunction of planets. I don’t want to see planets with only easy aspects and no conjunctions. The best thing for me to see is a three or four planets together or what we call a stellium in astrology. This means this relationship is important and will have effect on the people involved.
  2. I want to see the Sun conjunct Venus, Mercury, Mars or the Moon. The Sun is the life force of the relationship and shows what it is about. I want the sun to have a conjunction to at least Venus. This shows real love and getting-along ability within the relationship. The best relationships have Sun conjunct Venus, Mercury and another planet.
  3. I want a Pluto or Saturn in easy aspect to the stellium or in opposition to it. Yes oppositions are good!
  4. I want Jupiter to have easy aspects to it. This is very important because even if other things in the chart show arguing or other issues in the relationship, a well-placed Jupiter shows the couple can always share a common vision for what they want together. Jupiter also shows that at the end of the day these people are good for one another and this relationship would make them grow in a positive way.I want to see Saturn in a mix of easy and hard aspects. This show this relationship can take formal shape in reality and not just in the fantasy of the lovers. This is a good sign they will make a commitment even if the relationship gets hard. I am not too worried about hard Saturn aspects if there is enough to balance and an element ease to the relationship.I want the Moon to be in a good state. The best is if the Moon is making an easy aspect to the Sun. In some cases, a Moon in opposition to the Sun can also work well. Especially if the Sun is conjunct Venus as mentioned earlier.

What I don’t like seeing for a long-term relationship:

  1. Hard aspects to Neptune and Uranus. This can work great for a creative relationship in the art world but Isn’t good for daily family life. I see this a lot on composite charts of singers and actors. These relationships can feel amazing but are rarely long-lasting. Moon conjunct Uranus or Neptune on the other hand is brilliant in most cases.
  2. I don’t like a Moon that has only hard aspects. This means strong feelings and obsession but no ability to share same space when living together.
  3. I don’t like seeing a composite chart with a Pluto theme if one of the partners is not natally Plutonian.
  4.  I don’t like to see that the composite chart speaks to only one partner. One-sided love is painful.

Another famous couple with an amazing composite chart is Beyonce and Jay-Z.

They have their problems but the composite indicates it is indeed a powerful relationship. Beyonce and Jay-Z share the same thing I keep seeing again and again in long-married couples.

They have SUPER-BIG love stellium in opposition to Mars. Saturn is square the stellium so this one shows a less easy connection but it means they would stay together no matter how hard it gets. They have a less romantic or easy composite compared to McCartney and Linda but it is also more powerful and rare. They have a lot of social power as aa couple as indicated y the focus of planets in Libra and the first house. They have a lot of secret sexual issues creating anger in their psyche as indicated by Mars in the 8th house. This suggests they both act in ways that are unconscious and impulsive and therefore hurtful.

They are also both very independent as indicated by the Venus and Moon conjunction to Uranus. This suggests that together they have sparks of creative energy that is very dynamic. They will stay together a long time as indicated by Saturn that is squaring all this love. They might feel a lot of duty to stay together even if secrets and hardships come up through the mars in the 8th house. What this also means is that being active and making money is an outlet that helps them keep the relationship. The Sun conjunct Moon suggests a real marriage of two souls- male and female. They were meant to be together.

What is the best composite chart you have seen? Do you have any indicators of true love in your composite chart?

To really learn more about composite charts I recommend Robert Hand’s classic book Planets in Composite (1975) . Hand really helped bring the art of composite charts to life and the book is an easy and practical read. You could probably read on your own after reading it.

Click to get it on Amazon

Disclosure: I get a small commission if you choose to buy books I enjoy through my links. Thank you for helping me stay caffeinated.

51 thoughts on “Composite charts for true long-lasting love”

  1. Hi what do you think of a scorpio stellium in the composite sun, moon, mercury, Venus and Mars in the 2nd house with the moon in the 2+8th house?

  2. Hi what do you think of a scorpio stellium in the composite sun, moon, mercury, Venus and Mars in the 2nd house with the moon in the 2+8th house?

    1. Cat, It is not clear which houses the planets reside in?
      I can say that any stellium in a composite is significant and one of the best (and rarest) would include the Moon. These are usually important and close relationships. I would also look for supporting aspects from Pluto, Neptune or Uranus.

      1. Sorry i wasn’t clear but the moon is in both the 2nd and 8th house. Won’t too much scorpio be too intense and cause a burnout? We also have a Capricorn stellium with Jupiter, Neptune and Uranus in the 4th house

      2. The Moon in composite can only be in one house. Either way, no reason to think Scorpio placements would cause burnout. I
        would look at the Synastry to see burnout aspects like: Mars square Saturn or Jupiter. for example.

  3. Hi, there Just a quick question “I don’t like to see that the composite chart speaks to only one partner. One-sided love is painful.”, what do you mean with that. I have an strange composite with someone (2 House sun cojunt venus, opposite to 8th house Moon, Jup, Mercury, and Saturn – ALL of them but saturn squared Uranus). I have a lot composite Natal overlays, but not my SO :(. Can that be One sided?m
    Thanks

    1. Well, relationships are complicated and the composite chart should always be compared to the natal charts of the couple. There are situations where one partner has a certain configuration or leaning and the other doesn’t. It doesn’t mean the love is one-sided but sometimes one partner chooses to run from the relationship or fears it more.
      In the case of someone you are not dating, I would just study their natal chart. The composite chart you described sounds like an important relationship but with a constant tension between freedom and commitment. Therefore, you can look at his/her natal chart and see if they have any hard natal aspects from Saturn or Uranus. In general, an Uranus square like the one you described can add interest to the relationship dynamic. It can sometimes just show the couple needs to avoid trying to navigate the relationship through costumes and rules (Saturn) and instead follow their own self-expression (Uranus). This is just one option but I hope it gives you some insight.

  4. Many thanks for the swift feedback and the hint. 😉 .
    The Composite I’ve described is the one I have with someone I’m seeing since last year. In my natal, Saturn from (Leo) 7th squares my Scorpio stelium (Sun, Merc, Mars, Uranus – 9th). I find quite bizarre the fact that Uranus in the composite is only 5 degrees away from my natal Uranus, (which is trine my Moon in Cancer and conjunct my Nord node in Scorpio too), but its me who finds really hard to keep the thing open, and not commited. He is a Taurus Sun (no hard aspects from Uranus ( trine his Venus in piscis and Virgo Moon) or from Saturn. Shouldnt it work the other way around or am I getting it wrong? Thanks again.

  5. What do you think of our composite? We have Sun conj Pluto in Scorpio, both square Moon in Leo. However, we both have Moon sq Pluto natally. We dont have the love stellium, but we’ve been together for 4 years and plan on getting married soon!

    1. Congratulations! Free wil and the fact you are getting married is what matters. Sun-Pluto conjunction is very binding and a powerful configuration in a composite chart. In square to the Moon the involvement is definitely built on deep intimacy and passion.

      1. Thanks! We got together a little roughly (left our partners for each other) and I’m wondering if those squares will cause challenges going forward?

      2. I can’t answer that without seeing a chart. Squares are challenges but also serve as motivators that keep things exciting in a relationship.

      3. The composite suggests the dynamic of the relationship itself.
        Sometimes it can show that people got together because of trauma, an affair, or their career. The squares you have can show an area of over-compensating in the relationship. For example, Moon square Jupiter could suggest there is an emotional over combination because you don’t share your hopes and values for the future.

  6. We’ve a mix of wonderful and very challenging aspects in our composite: a conjunction of Sun-Venus-Mercury-Psyche-Vertex in 5H trine Moon/ASC sextile Mars. Jupiter is also sextile Venus opp Moon. However, we also have Pluto squaring the stellium. Mars although supports the stellium but also square Saturn opp Uranus. Saturn is trine our Midheaven. How will you describe our relationship?

    1. I would not dare read any type of chart for anyone just based on a description. Generalizations are rarely true in astrology.
      My post points out general patterns taken as a whole but different people need different relationships.

      The most important thing to study is the natal charts of the couple. That said, I would say that yes you have a beautiful stellium in the 5th house and in trine to the Moon no less! Amazing.

      Pluto square the stellium can add staying power and an ability to overcome crisis together as a couple. It can be very binding. The real question is if the people involved are psychologically healthy or not. Toxic relationships where people stay together for 60 years are also possible. Saturn opposite Uranus would suggest you do have the ability to create and face change. There might be some anxiety over change in general or one of you coud feel they need some space. Again, this would require looking at his/our natal to see what your fears and needs are.
      A very significant relationship.

      1. Thanks! Yes I know this can only be general. We don’t have Saturn opp Uranus. It’s 3H Mars square 5H Saturn opposite 9H Uranus forming a t-square. It seems to suggest we’re caught in a tension loop but I wonder what? We do tend to engage in competition for air time.

        Our stellium trine Moon creates a very loving relationship and Pluto is binding as you said…there’s a strong meant-to-be and can’t-let-you-go feeling… but we can get jealous/possessive while he’s also more controlling. I’ve Pluto in 5H quincunx my Taurus Sun and he has Pluto conjunct Moon in Libra square Cancer Mars. We did a lot of communication to avoid the unhealthy plutonic tendencies.

  7. Hi my partner and I have a sun, venus, mercury and pluto 8th house stellium in Scorpio. Our composite moon (pisces 12th house) is trine to those planets in that stellium but our mars (5th house Leo) squares the stellium. This is where I get stuck. Can you explain the dynamics with some of these?

    1. Hi Mary, explaining the chart requires reading it which I can’t do based on a description. I will say it is ana amazing composite. The square to mars could suggest one or both of you are competitive and daring or you become that way in this relationship. A lot of attraction and sexuality but can be some conflicts around who is “boss”.

      1. Wow, thank you. I’ve never thought of mars in this light. I always assumed it was to do with anger or aggression which I haven’t found to be the case with us. Yor analysis actually makes complete sense. I am not competitive at all and really frowned on competition before we met. My partner IS competitive, very sporty. I never thought he’d be my type at all! We are not competitive with each other (so far) but I am definitely more motivated to take action and be part of things than I used to be. I guess he has activated that side of me. As far as who’s boss well we’re both Scorpios 😣

      2. Mars can be a great flavor, and we all need some “spice” so the relationship won’t be boring. Scorpio likes some spice. I wouldn’t worry about it.
        If he is more Mars dominant, he won’t feel this energy in the relationship, but you will. In all relationships, we tend to have power in some areas and our partners in others. Mars is what keeps us “turned on” and makes us get out of bed and DO something. That he is not your usual masculine (Mars) type makes sense. I know another couple with something similar, and she said the same. She wasn’t attracted to him at all at first.
        Thankfully a good relationship where you share a household is not based on MARS but good MOON aspects. Easy Sun-Moon is a gift like no other.

  8. Thanks so much, that’s very comforting to hear. It’s so easy to assume the worst when you look at hard aspects like mars squares but you’ve really put this in perspective for me. You’re right, it is a very action oriented connection. He does have strong mars aspects in his chart including a moon (Sagittarius) square mars in virgo and yikes that made me nervous at first! I have a pretty passive mars in Cancer so I don’t like any possible risk of confrontation 😂 Yes I think the sun moon connection is beautiful. I’m finding reading about astrology fascinating but the synthesis of it all as you’ve done here makes it alot more clear. Thanks for being so generous with your time. I’m looking forward to reading more of your content 🖤

  9. HI! I recently got into astrology and wanted to say how much this post means to me. I see people have a really “fatalic” view on things most of the times, I read awful descriptions over aspects you said you like. Me and my boyfriend have 2 small steliums (2nd and 8th houses) and some of the planets (including pluto) are opposite, I’m a bit plutonian so it’s ok. The “harsh” things mainly would be two sun oppositions and a moon square uranus. Overall I never had such a great relationship and so much comfort/intimacy with someone and he told me he feels the same, we mostly understand our own wounds/challenging aspects and communicate it to the other, it’s crazy in our synastry and composite that ou relationships involves lots of healing and learning with love, no healing process is easy and I see people are too afraid of it but it’s important to go through it so we can evolve, and if we can evolve together it’s ok even if we don’t last forever we’ll always have lots of love that we shared and will wish to one another.

    Because of this I also started reading another posts in your blog and I am absolutely falling in love. Keep up with the good work and kind yet realistic words! Lots of love from Brazil ❤ hope to do a reading with you one day

    1. Thank you Nina.
      This means so much to me. I truly appreciate your kind words. I hope one day I could express how much Astrology can be helpful and healing. Meanwhile, I adore getting to know people from all walks of life and seeing the spark in us all.
      Your words really touched me and reminded me why I got into astrology in the first place. I believe in free will and in the journey of transformation. I avoid reading the future because I believe all is open. Like you said, nothing is decided.
      You described love so beautifully! Real Love – whether it lasts forever or just helps us heal. This type of love is real and rare. I am so happy for you. It takes a very brave spirit.

      I hope you stick around for more things to come in the future.
      Love,
      Lee

  10. Thanks Lee I love this article. I’m new to your site – I stumbled across it whilst trying to find out more about Pluto- Venus conjunctions in composite. I know a little about astrology, so will definitely read more of your posts to learn!
    My partner and I have a stellium in the second house of Venus, Pluto, Uranus, sun, mercury….all opposed by Saturn. I’ve read that a stellium containing Uranus and Pluto in the middle is not helpful. Would you agree? (They separate the sun and Venus.)
    Thankfully (according to your descriptions above!) we have a lovely fourth house moon/Neptune/Chiron conjunction (that also sextiles Pluto exact and Venus/sun more widely) and the soothing healing romantic homey element can definitely be felt.

    1. Thank you for reading Lilli. Nothing in astrology is good or bad :). I suppose with Saturn opposite your stellium there could be some circumstances/people/situation challenging your relationships. You have many wonderful placements that matter far more.

  11. Hello Lee! I’m really happy to have landed on your page. Your commentary about composite charts is quite illuminating!!
    The chart between my love and I seems intriguing. I’d like to share a few aspects for your opinion.

    Sun conjunct Venus (5d)
    Sun Trine Moon (Moon conjunct MC 2d)
    Sun and Venus sextile Pluto

    Jupiter in the 7th house conjunct NN (<1/2d) and both are the apex of a Yod from the Sun, Venus and Pluto sextile.

    Composite Sun is at 10d Sagittarius. Natally, My ASC is at 10d Sag. and her IC is at 11d Sag.

    Does the Jupiter placement and the Sagittarius at 10d stand out to you?

    1. Thank you for reading! I admit it is hard for me to interpret anything without the visual of a chart.
      You describe an almost too good to be true and harmonious composite chart.
      Very tight degrees as well.
      Jupiter as the apex of a Yod can feel very urgent. If either of you is in paths related to Jupiter like teaching, publishing, or even travel it would be activated.
      Sun in Sagittarius you get to shine and express yourself/social prominence maybe/she gets to feel more confident too.
      It would also dependant on your natal Jupiter positions- so do take a look at those 🙂

      1. Thank you so much for your reply Lee 🙂 I too thought it is unusually good but the relationship is going along quite nicely I’m happy to say.

        As for the yod I am a teacher and an artist that can encompass publishing to some extent. Though she does not partake in these endevors it’s curious to me that she has her 6d Jupiter in Gemini in the 9th house 5d from her MC… That said, her Jupiter is closer to my 10d Gemini DC in synastry. My Jupiter is in Aries (conjunct Venus) and makes no other aspect than a bi-quintile to her Sun in Virgo.

        Again, thank you for your responses as they are greatly appreciated 🙂

  12. Hello Lee, this was a wonderful reading! I never thought of stelliums until now, and it makes so much sense!! What does it mean if there aren’t many aspects to the Sun or Mars? Sun square Jupiter and MC, Mars trine ASC. But Venus and Jupiter both trine Moon/Saturn/Uranus/Neptune stellium. I am hopeful because of the grand trine. But worried that there are hardly any Sun or Mars aspects! I did check our natal charts and the composite Sun is conjunct my Mars, and conjunct his Moon. What do you think our composite chart means? Thanks in advance! ❤

  13. I was warned that composite moon conjunct uranus may be bad but good to see it is not a deal breaker..I was stressed over it!!

  14. Hi, I also have stellium with my boyfriend. We are both virgo. We have love stellium in10/11 house mars conjuct venus,moon,Jupiter,sun,metcury. Everything should be ok, but this all planets have square from saturn,uranus in 2 house. I love him very much but sometimes its hard for me, he hurt me.

  15. Hi Lee!
    Many Thanks for your great page and article. I simply love your insights and the way you are able to explain complicated issues in an easy way!

    The composite from our relationship shows a big grand square in Fixed signs. Uranus is squared the Composite Sun which is conjunct Venus BTW, and therefore squared to Uranus as well. Chiron squares Moon ( that is conjunct Jupiter and therefore squared to Chiron). Sun Venus and Moon Jupiter oppose each other. That means Moon and Jupiter are squared Uranus as well.
    We have positive aspects ( trine and sext) from Neptune which is squared Saturn. Saturn forms a trine with Uranus but is not in aspect to personal planets. Trine and sextiles from Pluto Mars to Sun Venus and Moon Jupiter as well.

    We’ve been dating for 2 years in a very non structured way, and it has worked well. We deeply care about each other. But the future is foggy any type of planning ( even short term) leads to a discussion about personal freedom, compromise and restrictions.
    Is it such as bad as it seems to be? No future ( uranus deal breaker),very painfull bound, (Chiron no healing), no way of compensating it ?

    1. Thank you 🙂
      It is only bad or good depending on the two people involved. Congrats! Sounds like you got yourself an Uranian relationship which can work very well if it is never pushed into a traditional structure.
      There are ways to compensate this tendency like living in different houses or having a mutual hobby that involves something very Uranus-related. These relationships also tend to work well in a long distance scenario sometimes so if one partner works over- seas or for a political cause.
      The REAL question is what your natal chart shows in terms of your needs and wants for the future. The expectations you have of a relationships will show with your Mars and Jupiter and his Moon and Venus.

      1. Hi Lee,
        Thanks to you 🙂 for this.
        Well, We met in Sep 2019 but I had to leave the country in August 2020. Since then, we are living in different countries. So I wouldn’t mind living in different houses in the same city at all ;). I have the chance now to return to where I was living before but Im scared about taking a one sided decision and breaking the balance, if you know what I mean. My natal Mars (10th) is In Scorpio and my Jupiter (4th) ( Retro) in Taurus. His natal Moon is Virgo (10th) and his Venus (4th) in Piscis (29 degree). Not really sure what does that mean in terms of relationship expectations, but a Virgo Moon and a Taurus Jupiter do not give me an eccentric flavour, correct? ;P
        Thanks!
        Ps: Dont take house placement such as seriously, natal time is approximate for both of us.

      2. Ginny,
        it is impossible to say without really taking consideration of the whole chart. It is not as simple as a Virgo Moon requiring stability or not. It does sound like the relationships is Uranian and that it works that way.
        I think the best thing to do is learn your own natal chart and see what you need. Usually, a person with hard natal Saturn aspects or strong 8th house/Pluto would find it harder to be in this type of dynamic.

  16. Hey there!
    Great article thanks so much.
    What if the Composite Chart is Woow but one partner natal chart is only slighly impacted? So to say Composite Sun, Venus Moon and Mars falling in empty houses (3rd 9th), only aspects from Composite Uranus Pluto Saturn and Neptune to natal Saturn Uranus and Pluto.
    I have that with my girlfriend. How should I take this? Should I worry about she not feeling the connection so strong as I do?

    1. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.
      It is impossible to say without looking at the natal charts of both partners. These things can vary greatly depending on the individuals.
      Are there any indicator in your natal chart that can show your worry? Does it repeat in other relationships?
      Are there any indicators in her chart that can show a more detached nature in romantic relationships? 🙂

  17. I’ve pondered for long time whether I should reach out to you. It probably sounds desperate. I’m genuinely looking for genuine insight. God given divine truth. I’ve talked to so many people about it, also astrologers – I’ve got an astrologer in my family, then I’ve got a friend who’s into relationship astrology and I myself have been studying astrology myself -obsessively I must say for quite some time now.
    Nevertheless I can’t seem to let go of it. Which is why I made the choice to you again, I stumbled upon being an INFJ who knows about psychology. I’m ENFP enneagram 4w3 and I’ve been doing so much psychology and inner emotional healing, it’s been a theme for a long long time. So im making a attempt again, genuinely reaching out to you because obviously I’m at my wits end.

    Background I’ve never really been in love before summer 2020 even tho I already hit the thirties- but that’s also probably I was unconsciously repressing some aspects, at the same time me being an enneagram 4w3 it was crucial for me to be the person God created me to be. It’s like an “opposition” if you know what I’m trying to say. Two forces pulling in the different direction

    I fell in love in summer 2020 the “first time” which was already a enormous heartbreak to be.
    But miraculously I fell in love again around springtime 2021.
    As you probably know being an ENFP 4w3 we are big feelers. Everything is about a deep connection, especially when I’ve got my Venus in Leo 12th house- in conjunction with my south node and Mars. exact opposition moon 6th Aquarius 1 degree orb,
    exact opposition north node 0 degree orb. I’m a late crab (cancerian), Virgo asc.
    (I can send you my birth date if that’s what you want I just didn’t want you to feel like you have to do a reading)

    Sorry for making it so hard to get to the point.
    When I developed feelings again for the second person, let’s call that person S.
    There were many circumstances which pointed out “NOT NOW, not right time” since S was and is still married
    Nevertheless I went with “my heart”
    I even talked so much with my relationship astrologer friend. We looked into synastry and composite together (and then I began to study relationship astrology obsessively on my own)
    He confirmed what I already “knew” that S and me we have a deep connection. It’s confirmed by “double whammies” like moon-Pluto, sun-mercury, Moon-Saturn, Neptune-Moon, Jupiter-Pluto. Plus everything which hits my moon also hits my north node since my moon and north node are in exact conjunction.

    I was worried -makes sense given the unhealthy certainly not fit for a relationship circumstances plus S is a woman- that our connection might just be a “platonic one” without strong physical -you could say -sexual attraction. Given my planet placements in the 12th house I’d say God made me person who understands things on a higher level. And there are certainly cases where two people can share a good harmonious connection without not a strong physical attraction. Plus We had no Mars -Venus aspects. You know what I’m trying to say? There needs to be some push n pull, Passion and Fire. But even that my friend said was there.
    Her Mars is in exact conjunction to my ascendant. My Pluto is in exact conjunction to her south node. My Venus hits her vertex in exact conjunction and we have a Venus-moon opposition (no double whammy tho)

    And then I even studied the composite chart: there is an EXACT Sun-Mercury-Mars-Venus conjunction in the 10th. With exact I mean either 0 or 1 degree.
    Jupiter tribe Saturn also 0 orb, and moon square Pluto 2 degree orb. Pluto exact conjunction to ascendant. Generally there were just so so many exact – 0 or 1 orb- aspects.

    Why am i writing this? Because I started to -I admit – obsessively studying synastry when “whatever we had don’t want to call it a relationship- kinda ended. As a enneagram 4w3 or maybe it’s my Scorpio Pluto in the 3rd house I want understand things. With understanding I mean getting to the core.

    S and me we finally met in May 2021 -she actually reached out to me online. (We both live in close but different countries and because of COVID neither of us could travel) From the day she reached out we talked or texted every day. It’s as if the atmosphere of our communication was kinda filled with this -I don’t know how to call it “want”? Tension? Mutual attraction?
    In May we didn’t really do anything physical which I think is good because she was so torn because of her husband. (The only think which works between her and the husband is the sex. She’s the second time married and according to her she’s never felt such a strong sexual attraction before)

    Well she also said she’s never felt so attracted to a woman before she met me *eyeroll
    But what’s more important is that she’s never felt something -in terms of having feelings-for a woman before she met me.
    At the beginning before we met she had to assure me several times -since I was and still am very insecure – duh given the situation – whether she really has feelings for me, that she indeed has feelings for me. She’s cant say she’s in love with me since she has to meet me in real life but this intense connection is there. She has feelings for me and for the husband. She’s unhappily married btw. A lot of financial dependency and manipulation)
    S has her sun Mercury Venus and Mars in Virgo 8th house, plus she’s a Capricorn ascendant and Capricorn moon. North node in Taurus still in the 3rd house, 2 degrees away from the 4th house.
    So S generally is very “slow n cautious” when it comes to feelings (and materialistic?)

    At the beginning of June she and the husband kinda were fighting so much that she moved upstairs (they live in a house divided in a upper and lower apartment) so it was like a -very short term tho – “separation”. She asked me whether I could come to her to help her.
    Of course I did *facepalm
    We spent 13 days together.
    Whereas S did say that during the 13 days she spent with me, she was feeling good and when we got intimate she did feel something, she doesn’t feel something for me now.

    And I, I blame myself for – In her words pressuring.
    because I was so insecure I kept asking her how she feels about me and when I returned from the 13 days I told her it’s better not to have contact at least for a while since she kept saying (while I was with her) that she can’t form a coherent thought.
    She doesn’t know what do to with her kids, she doesn’t have any money, she doesn’t know what choice she should make next.

    In my mind rationally (I didn’t study psychology and all that emotional healing for nothing) I knew she wasn’t in any state to know what she feels or make a choice and yet I kept “pressuring her” to tell me what she wants. Because I myself am wounded.

    You have to imagine that I basically have no responsibilities in my life.
    I don’t have a job (I don’t need one because God blessed me with a good foundation here.) I can basically do nothing and basically have no “life threatening” consequences (besides hating myself if you know what I mean. And the fact that this is a downward spiral. And very bad for my emotional well-being)

    And with S being so materialistic and me being so “carefree” living my life and not coming into responsibility yet, scared her.
    I had to pressure her to admit that.

    Apparently all I do is pressuring her to go into her herself and tell me her feelings.
    Apparently I am expecting something out of it. Peace of mind? Serenity?

    S said I accuse her of not being honest with me when we were intimate

    even the word “making love” in combination with her gives me a sour taste now . Feeling of throwing up. And I am totally a making love person.
    I guess because of my exact Saturn-Neptune conjunction (1 degree orb) I strictly discern/distinguish between sex – that would be really purely just sex without feelings. Interestingly I can do that casual sex with guys. I just don’t like casual sex very much – and LOVE when I make love with someone with everything I am. Making love requires a certain Divine higher -astrologically you can say 12th house – connection.

    S insisted that there were some feelings involved when she was intimate with me the 13 days – she just can’t define these feelings “whatever it was, she felt something”

    And I just don’t know.
    I think she doesn’t know what she feels. I think she’s a deeply disturbed person with heavy emotional baggage and I am still broken and wounded to engaged with such a person and allow her “influence” my life negatively

    In order for better illustration please allow me to go into some details:
    S told me once -it was meant more lighthearted nevertheless true: “If I crack her (meaning if she has an orgasm with me) then I can crack anyone”
    (Background she didn’t „get there“ with anyone other than her husband and her ex husband -remember when she said the only thing which works between her and her husband is the sex and that she’s has never felt such a strong sexual attraction to someone. And she does have experience with women as well. But obviously no -you know what I mean“)

    And obviously that must have stuck within me. I don’t really have experience with women (before S I fell in love a year ago and that was the first time I got intimate with a woman. But that woman was -as expected- emotionally damaged and she couldn’t receive anything if you know what I’m trying to say. It did traumatise me a bit and left me doubting)

    So with S i was already quite doubtful and everything. I know lovemaking is a heart to heart thing. It’s all about a Deep intense connection and yet I had that „fail“ experience in my head

    However miraculously (or not) S experienced a climax the first time we were together.
    I even remember her laughing and saying that’s something that even her husband didn’t get right at the first time. (He only managed the 2nd time they tried it)

    What am I trying to say? Or let me put it this way since I keep talking with people about it and I still can’t seem to let go

    Was there something really real during the time S and I spent together?
    S keeps saying she did feel something, she just can’t say what it was.
    And if there really was something how can the feeling suddenly be gone?
    I hear S at the back of my mind „[my name] you can’t force things. It’s just the way it is now.“
    She even said when it would be just sex with me now without love. Plus she’s with her husband (again) and she’s got feelings for him.

    I wanna throw up. Not because she’s together with her husband don’t get me wrong I’m always for true love. I wanna throw up because I felt like I made love to a monster. To me it didn’t feel like any of it was real. That any of it was genuine. Despite her being apparently hurt when I think like this.

    me pressuring her to define and call her feelings makes her very annoyed with me and „closing“ even more.
    Plus her saying that I’m still like a child and everything.

    And yes i already booked an appointment with my therapist. I’m just obviously so torn and desperately wanting to get to the truth that I’m doing everything I can.
    So if you please wanna give your insight please do
    Im sincerely crying out to you

    If you think it’s because im trying to get a free reading of anything. I can assure you it’s not. Im just looking for insight. Genuine god given insight. I want the truth and obviously I want peace, serenity of my mind

    1. Dear Lijun,

      I and hopefully no one can claim to know divine truth. Don’t believe anyone who says they know truth. Here is something I can say is often true: Real love is painless and stable. It does not swing back and forth and is safe.

      I take it your relationships are Neptune themed from what you write here and from the conflicts you describe. It is easier to love someone that is unattainable or an ideal in our minds. Sometimes.

      The real broken or at times dark side of a person (monster) can be hard to accept. Real love is all about seeing who is in front of us even in their imperfect state. This means getting to know the person for a longer time so you can establish trust and connection without sexuality getting in the way.

      However, some people come into our life and we fall in love to learn a lesson or to discover a part of ourselves. Perhaps what you experienced this first time of falling in love…Can be seen as the gift it is. You got to learn what love is and that YOU can feel it.

      It doesn’t mean it can only be experienced with this one person. This could be a karmic relationship there to teach and show something.

      I also think you idealized this person and when she was human and weak you felt your heart was broken (Neptune). All people will disappoint you unless you can also accept your own humanity and vulnerability- as beautiful and acceptable.

      I encourage you to let go and only remember the gift part of it. Always accept it wasn’t true love from either of your sides- but it was still meaningful and a part of your story.

      1. thank you so so much (I don’t know how to call you)
        i can see you genuinely tried to undertand me. thank you really for making this effort.
        I hope I’m allowed to write even more.
        my neptune Saturn conjunction is actually in my 5 house “of pleasure”
        i guess my 12th house placements make it very neptune-themed? also I think me having strong 12th house placements makes me radiate unconditional love

        i know rationally -from all the years “obsessing” over psychology and human relationship dynamics that real love can’t be what happened between S and me.
        funny before I fell in love the first time people would aways make fun of me that I keep preaching how “real love” should be.
        i analyzed ppl’s relationships and pointed out all their unhealthy dysfunctional dynamics. my to go quote was: “That’s not real love, that’s dysfunctional. that’s toxic. that’s dysfunctional.”
        (and I annoyed them with my “condescending” therapist psychology *sad chuckle)

        i kinda feel like I’m preaching water but I drank wine with S.

        also i wanted to FEEL something.
        ENFP enneagram 4w3 is all about being true to ourselves.
        being true to me to the absolute core of my heart and how God made me
        and probably growing up in christian enviroment made me “unconciously” repressing certain aspects.

        not saying I conciously repressed my attraction to – at least for now – certain types of woman – that would be impeccably dressed very feminine women with either heavy emotional baggage or deeply emotionally damaged/wounded, which was the case with D (the woman I fell in love with which I consider my first time ever, before S) . maybe women with a very feminine 8th house energy?
        but before I fell in love i was convinced that’s not the real me, with real me meaning the person God created me to be.
        it took me like 31 years to get there.

        it’s like now finally my -maybe you can call it passion? – has awakened.

        and i have to *laugh sadly

        because usually it’s the other way round.
        usually ppl first experience heartbreak (also at a younger age)
        then they “obsess” over psychology, learn what healthy relationships patterns.

        I INTENTIONALLY made a big effort to study human relationships, study how true love should look like (even annoyed and called other people out of it. They used to say “[myname] you’d say it’s not real love again” with heavy sarcasm) because I didn’t want to experiece …THIS (you know what i’m trying to say?)
        i was gifted by God to undertand things (seriously I don’t feel great, sometimes I even think it’s a burden) to see certain things…just BEYOND (I have no other word for it, sorry)

        and YET I made the biggest mistake of all.
        I got involved with a married woman who never claimed she loves me. just that she has (had) feelings for me (who are not there now)
        and the woman D, whereas she never claimed to have feelings for me and just wanted to have sex with me. I fell in love with both of them. for the first time of my life.

        and as you pointed out, somewhere in my mind I knew something is not right.
        S never claimed to be in love with me. she just said (several times because i kept asking her due to my insecurity) that she has feelings for me. and that it’s the first time for her experiencing that with a woman.

        i guess the reason I’m writing all this is…
        before i fell in love the first time (that was last year summer 2020) with D, I always analysed ppl’s relationship dynamics and could nearly pinpoint exactly what is wrong with their relatioship. where are their unhealthy aspects, where are their toxic dynamics, where are the areas they need to work on.
        I think i could have applied my God given knowledge and intuition when I met D and S. But would I have fallen in love?
        woud I have “opened my heart”.
        i always loved opening my heart especially romantically. (just didn’t happen very often.
        would my knowledge (saturn?) keep me from opening my heart?

        I’m sorry I guess i’m writing so much but I don’t seem to get to my point. and I keep wasting my precious life n time with things like that. the exact thing S was “critisizing” me. and one of the aspects which supported her feelings being gone. and yet true love is about accepting the person the way they are

        i can sense this leads to a downward spiral. i genuinely thank you for your time to respond to me.

  18. Hi guys

    I’m driving myself mad over this person who right now we are “just friends” (since we work together) but I feel so much more for him in the romance department. When we hug its electric and I wonder if he feels the same…

    SYNASTRY: http://ibb.co/PFJrZfg
    (he is the red (outer), and I’m the blue (inner)

    COMPOSITE: http://ibb.co/P5NhstX
    we have a grand water trine, and a kite formation with neptune at the apex

    Please let me know any thoughts. I feel like I am madly in love with this person and I need to know if it’s mutual

    1. lilithbabe: Great Synastry and composite. However, the Mars/Pluto is the main challenge in both.
      How each of you uses Mars/Pluto in your daily lives, work or sports would be important for achieving harmony. Does either of you have a very Mars-driven career or daily routine?

      P.s The “electric” feeling is probably your Capricorn stellium Uranus/Neptune conjunct his Sun and Mercury. Also mind that he is a. Venus in Aquarius and these tend to show affection through friendship or hobbies. YOU are a very sensitive one and can feel him very well.

  19. Hi, Plutoprophet!
    My situation is similar with lilithbabe’s. There’s this guy I can’t get out of my mind for about two years. We work together, but mostly just see each other from the distance. But every time we have close contact, its like the air is charged, and I feel a deep connection towards him. But I can’t understand if its just one-sided for me. I’m getting all kinds of mixed signals from him.
    If you could comment our Composite and Synastry, I would be immensely grateful!
    COMPOSITE: https://ibb.co/XYZvZ8k
    https://ibb.co/wLZ2GcR
    SYNASTRY:
    https://ibb.co/FXjntGP
    https://ibb.co/pLNTWJf
    (he is the outer, and I’m the inner)

    1. Oh, darling! (the song applies here too). I see a pretty classic Neptune situation where nothing is clear.
      The connection and attraction are sure powerful but there is much going against it turning into a solid long-term relationship.

      – Time and time again when Neptune comes into play like that in a composite we get mixed messages and relationships that have the fog of romance all over them like some fairy dust.
      – Notice Pluto square Mars which can create issues behind the scenes or at work.
      – The Mars& Neptune situation in Synastry confirms the composite- among other things.
      – I see him not being clear with you of truly being able to see you as you are.

      My take? You need to get him out of your system- chances are that if the relationship became real and physical (Mars wants it physical/Neptune wants the dream of soul mates) you yourself would see you don’t need/want it all that much when it is real.
      I don’t do doom and gloom astrology but it is something that needs pointing out.

    2. The ‘charged air’ is probably the opposition to outer planets present in both synastry and composite. It can be creative and work well if the two of you are artists or have some creative project together. I see this type of configuration among musicians or people in media that are also romantically involved. A very ‘Hollywood’ sort of compatibility.
      Of course, there could be other ways this can manifest in your life.
      For the male chart I like to see some good Saturn aspects to the female chart and aspects to his Moon. Without Saturn and Moon commitment is less likely. In his case I do not see that. However, your composite chart is pretty strong therefore it is a situation where if the relationship happens it can be activated.
      So…I do see you working together because that is a clear pattern. I am not sure he would be able to make an effort beyond that. Why? Because you might trigger his own insecurities (Mars&Saturn). He could feel like he cannot take action. This is not your fault but his own weakness. Meanwhile, he is getting a lot of support from you as can be seen in the synastry and composite.

  20. Hi PlutoProphet !

    Very nice article !

    I am in a romantic relationship since two years with my long time best friend. We do love each other very much and always did get along very well but since we became a couple, everything started going south. We got into a runner-chaser dynamic that is very exhausting. I had to learn to give him a lot of space, texting only once in a while, avoid calling him, etc. As soon as I ask for more communication between us, he becomes very anxious. He is a workaholic (so I am) and feels like a relationship would make him lose control of his little world, which I understand to some extent. He asked for a break recently (for no reason other than me asking for spending a day together) and I decided to go no contact this time. He tried to reach out 48h later but I was not very enthusiastic about it and he disappeared. As much as I love him and care for him, I feel drained by so much instability in our relationship.

    Your article made me think about our composite chart and I would be delighted to have your opinion on it : https://ibb.co/PttKcFx

    Our synastry: https://ibb.co/1Mg8YD2

    1. The composite shows that complex psychological fears arise in your minds in this connection. I think that beyond the lessons that can be learned here- stability and comfort will be hard to find. I am usually optimistic but the very identity of the relationship is defined by a square to Pluto + Jupiter square to Neptune/Uranus without any support AND Saturn having no outlet. I see complexity, attraction, hard lessons but little stability because it so hard that one of you will feel like walking away and taking “space.”
      I wish you love and that you find someone with whom it is easy and effortless to began a relationship.

Leave a Reply to Tat Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s