Moon conjunct/square Pluto in Synastry

If you have a Moon conjunct Pluto with someone you can look forward to feeling attached on a deep level.  This attachment would make it very difficult for two people to not become psychologically linked.

What is a psychological link?  It is when you and another person become vulnerable with each other and exchange a sense of intimacy. This feeling can become very addictive because you become open to parts of yourself that are usually controlled. Moon-Pluto works like deep water that sips into the earth of your foundation. Who you think you are, your personality and social identity become irrelevant when this happens. The couple may experience a sense of crisis about parts of themselves they used to find natural and easy. Suddenly, your emotional reactions, childhood habits and sense of security are put on display.  

You may feel this is happening because your partner has a way of making you feel seen.  You may think that something about them is making you feel safe enough to not hide who you are. The Pluto person has a tendency to skip social politeness and go straight into the emotional being of the Moon person. There is often a sense of not knowing why the attraction is so alluring and strong. In actuality, both people are fascinated with seeing their own hidden, repressed or feral parts come to light. There is a mistaken belief that the other person holds the power to understand us. This belief tends to make people fascinated and obsessed with each other.

The truth is, that the relationship itself can be very revealing and raw. We can’t hide the fact we do things because of some need we have and it feels good to know the other person feels this compulsion too. It also feels very good that it is an unspoken, mysterious connection where both people know they are playing cat and mouse. The fact it is such an unspoken current of the relationship makes it attractive and even sexy. There is a lot of space for both people to project their own animalistic yearning onto the other person and let that fester and grow into a compulsion to become emotionally naked. This aspect tends to override the fact that two people have nothing in common or might not even be one another’s “type”. It creates a pulsing sense of urgency to bond, get emotionally naked and reveal all secrets. This sense of compulsion creates a lot of fear or even guilt in both people. They may ask themselves why do they feel so bewitched with this person? What is it about them that makes it is so important to connect?

Some people experience a sense of repulsion with the other person. They fear their own need to get close to them and they even blame their partner for trying to manipulate them. They might turn to various manipulations in the form of trying to shape and control the relationship dynamic. They want the other person and they would never give up but they deal with their fear by being the one in control of the emotional well-being of the other person (usually the Moon). It is very Moon for the Pluto person to act like a therapist or psychologist so that they can catalog the emotional reactions of the Moon person.

The Moon person when Pluto crosses the line

They do so to ‘help’ the Moon person open up and feel safe. They want Moon to open up so they can feed on the rich emotional nature and sensitivity of their display. It makes Pluto feel powerful and in charge of this kingdom that is the heart of the Moon person. They genuinely revel and enjoy the Moon person’s weakness and displays of instinctive reactions. The Moon person feels very validated that the Pluto person is not running away when seeing them like that. They feel they can be messy, sad, hurt and as dark as can be and still the Pluto person would love them. The problem is that the Pluto person is not always aware that what they really want is to experience their own repressed nature through the Moon person. They may miscalculate their own obsessions and needs when playing this game. For example, they might act cold in order to make the Moon person show how much they need them. By the time the Moon person surrenders and admits they can’t live without the they have repressed their own yearning for them so much that they might lash out in an almost aggressive manner. They would become possessive and fearful and in actuality the Moon person would have the upper hand in this situation. Why? Because they are connected to their truth and emotions and can admit what they need. The Pluto person would intuitively sense this fact and become even more obsessed with finding ways to predict and catalog the emotional reactions of their partner.

If Venus is involved in the Synastry they might do so through kind gestures and nurturing ways. For example, they would want to know what their partner’s favorite food or gift is and use that knowledge when they feel the Moon person is shifting away from the bond. They would show the Moon person with all sorts of actions but would never reveal their own compulsive need to also receive affection and nurturing. It is almost like the Pluto person is living their emotions through the Moon person. This creates a very co-dependent dynamic because both people can’t really fully experience who they are without the other person. The Moon person lost their guard and “skin” to the point where they are very unsafe if the Pluto person stops being their shield. The Pluto person acts like a protective barrier against any outside influence on the Moon person. They can very genuinely keep them safe from harm but this safety means the Moon person must stay in the imaginary fort that Pluto created for them.

The Moon should ask themselves whether this fort is a golden cage, a prison or home? It is usually all three.

The healthier the relationship the more honest Pluto can be about how attached they are to the Moon. The less honest they are with themselves about why they provoke or protect the Moon the more likely this relationship would turn into a cage where they both feel exposed, weak and unfulfilled. Yet, they would always care and love one another because no other person has ever touched them so deeply and exposed them to something they didn’t think was possible in our world that can be called real intimacy. Intimacy not based on anything superficial but on real sharing of two souls. They might recognize the relationship is unhealthy and move on but with a sense of gratitude for the experience. It is also possible they would stay but both would have to transform and be very raw with each other about their fears and their need to feel safe. If they are ready to work together they would become conjoined into an entity that is hard to destruct. The bond would be unbreakable and fiercely loyal.

6 thoughts on “Moon conjunct/square Pluto in Synastry”

  1. I just want to clarify, this applies to moon square pluto in synastry as well as the conjunction, correct? Also how would this effect someone who is the moon but also has a natal moon square pluto. Would the pluto person make moon feel the same as the original childhood wounding? Or would the Pluto person put moon in touch with the repressed feelings from childhood? This gemini moon person is extremely emotionally unavailable and has a dismissive avoidant attachment style. TY for the insight.

    1. Yes, both hard Moon-Pluto aspects in synastry. Great question! I think if the trauma is unresolved and still alive within the psyche the Pluto person would trigger the wound. BUT this is exactly what causes the Moon person to be very attracted to the Pluto person because they feel the potential to heal the wound is high and they also find the “scent of trauma” familiar and attractive. It is only ONE aspect and other supporting Moon/fourth house connections can help.

      1. Thank you for posting. Thank you for posting. I had this aspect with someone and it’s a roller coaster of emotions. I am the moon person ( in Scorpio) He is Pluto (in Scorpio). It’s on and off , love and hate . It is very addictive and the sexual attraction is off the chart. This aspect is not for the faint of heart!

      2. Yes, it is a very addictive up and down dynamic. The pleasure of relief from pain makes both people obsessed.
        The attraction to unstable ‘love’ can often be due to experiences with parents or a first partner.
        True love is peaceful and stable and this aspect needs to be accompanied by other positive and easy aspects for us to call addiction to pain and relief ‘love.’ In good cases it can make the bond powerful and the couple can survive an apocalypse.

  2. Thank you for your great post !! Do you think opposition would feel the same ? If not, in what way would it be different accordibg to you ?

    1. It is similar in many ways but less about open conflict and more about unconscious drives that impact the relationship. The opposition is an aspect that tends to swing from one side to the other always seeking balance. You have each partner taking the Moon or Pluto roles at different times and you have times of ‘peace’ from the intensity.
      It may be ‘easier compared to the square but also harder to notice when you start dating which in a way is trickier and more behind the scenes of what the two people feel. Still, always consider other aspect to the Moon and how they can color this aspect in a different way.

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