Tag Archives: saturn love

Hard Venus-Saturn natal aspects: Love unbound

If you have the square, conjunction and opposition of Venus and Saturn in your natal chart this article is for you.

These aspects differ in flavor and outcome but have a common theme that is important to acknowledge. What actually happens is that if you have these aspects you are a person that is very affectionate and caring about other people and you take your relationships VERY seriously. The problem is that for whatever reason usually stemming from how you grew up and your early social experiences related to what you value and your self-esteem you tend to kind of have misplaced affection.

You tend to withdraw from the other person you love just when the relationship starts to open up and actually offer you intimacy and connection. When the relationship becomes intimate you experience a sense of fear that this relationship needs to follow the RULES or you can’t follow your heart.

You really desire solid, good, reliable and loyal relationships. You care a lot and have a strong sense of what is right and wrong in society. You have very good ethics and ideas about how relationships should be like to be considered “good”, anything that is below that standard you won’t commit to.

You can have many relationships in your life that don’t fit the rules but you will never marry or commit fully unless they fit your idea of what is “right”. The sad truth is it is really a way of thinking is something you cling to because it is masking and hiding your own sense of VULNERABILITY.

These ideas you hold about relationships having to follow steps, stages, rules, morals is really a mechanism you developed over time to protect yourself.

You just don’t like fully marching into something that in fact really be good for you. You learned as a child and as a teen from several probably shaking experiences that connection to other people is at times scarring. You wanted to connect but it was blocked or someone to said you had to be a certain way to receive it.

Maybe you had to act like a responsible adult or maybe you just had to follow the rules someone else made to deserve the love you wanted. The giving from other people was blocked and so you learned love and care is conditional. You started to believe only if you followed a certain path you would deserve love. As an adult you now believe you need to hold a high standard for yourself and other people. The exact reason or way this showed in your life would depend on the signs and houses of Saturn and Venus.

Generally speaking, you have this sense of “I’m not good enough”. You may believe that only when or if you reach some goal you can start having the relationship you dream of.

“I’m not good enough until I…Have a career”

“I’m not good enough until I…Look better”

“I’m not good enough until I…Prove my talents”

There is always a reason why you or the other person is not good enough to fully open up your heart. The tricky thing with this aspect is that often you can become just us blocking towards others who want to get closer to you. Secretly you are deeply hurt or angry about how you were treated. Often times, you have a great relationship with someone especially if other indicator in your natal chart point to that until that person wants to fully hug you, love you and care for you and suddenly you recoil because the hurt part of you wakes up. That fear makes you start thinking how that person might actually not be trustworthy or “up to the standard”. This is your mind trying to protect you from what it remembered caused it pain.

I am not saying you shouldn’t have standards and protect yourself but if a relationship has proved itself over time to be good and loyal don’t let those thoughts take over. If you start thinking that your partner needs to prove themselves to you or follow some formal behavior that is SATURN at work.

The truth is no one will ever find love safe because love needs vulnerability.

Is it worth the risk?

YES

I don’t think you should change who you are. I do think you should be aware of why patterns in your relationships repeat. The good side of hard Venus-Saturn aspects is that you are very capable of having high quality relationships that are long lasting and loyal.

I should also mention that often this can manifest in you choosing very irresponsible people who would eventually reject you or not want to commit. It is important to strike a balance between standards and an open heart.

Wrong person for a Venus-Saturn native: Irresponsible, childish, fearing commitment, lacking morals or goals.

If you find yourself choosing immature people who you need to treat like a parent or a boss this means you are trying to heal your own trauma and you still believe you are not good enough. Someone who can make you feel safe and you can rely on would help you make the best of this aspect.

I want to end this article by saying I don’t agree with Astrologers who say these aspects suggests you will always stay alone. It is true you can marry later in life or take time to do it. You may feel you need to wait or accomplish something in life first and that is okay. The important thing is to value yourself not for what you accomplish or only when other people say you are worthy.

YOU ARE WORTHY RIGHT NOW

Saturn: The Dark Superhero

Up to this point, I avoided writing about Saturn. It wasn’t a thought out decision perhaps- but if was something I felt more comfortable with. Saturn is a very tricky planet to write about- not so much because it deals with the most difficult lessons in our life, but because it isn’t easy to pin down.  The reason for this is that fear in general, is not something we understand until we overcome it.  It is a basic accepted “fact” (starting with Freud) that until we know the reason for our fear we won’t be able to get rid of it. Saturn is also the grown up in out chart- it is the responsible adult that tells us we must work hard, play less and maybe then we might turn out good people.

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A strong Saturn is one that can indeed teach as much about life  even if he is not the one that makes things easy for us.  it usually isn’t  a pleasant experience,  when someone shows me their chart I make sure to study their Saturn first so I can understand where their pain and difficulty arises from. Saturn is ruled by both Aquarius and Capricorn- two signs that work hard to build institutions on this earth, erect governments and punish the criminals.

Saturn is a bit of a superhero really! A dark hero though he may be. He saves us from making the same mistakes again and again – like a wise elder that reminds us that fire is hot and we shouldn’t stick our little hands where they don’t belong.

Saturn isn’t mean- He is just knows so much he has not time for small talk and smiles. We usually feel our Saturn in our childhood- all the things we never chose, like our parents and teachers.  We may also feel Saturn in our relationship with society- when we feel alone in a room full of people- this is our hero in black, teaching us to be our own person. When we feel we don’t deserve love and that things are too hard to deal with- it’s him again.

Think about it: every person on this earth is born with some inner and outer restrictions that serve a purpose. It isn’t always obvious- for example a child born to a very rich family may face his restrictions as a result of that privilege. A small girl born with Saturn in the 6th house- will have to work like a grown up- becoming a child star.

Saturn also rules “time”- how so? As it rules things that last: long-term relationships as well as actual social constructs. It is very traditional at heart- not a liberal hero. It wants to use the past so it can build on top of it. This includes your past memories and things which serve as a base for who you are.  Things that last require work and commitment, like a marriage for example- if both parties are not ready to commit and are able to do things which they find hard- the marriage isn’t going to work.  Any long-term commitment requires sacrifice of the ego- making place for another person in your life. Isn’t that a good thing? Of course it is- if you understand that the commitment will lead to a real strong relationship. If you don’t understand that, then indeed Saturn may seem like an evil doer. The trick is to always see the goal ahead- not the path. Saturn wants you to know that you are going somewhere, building, creating and growing. Marriage is a great example for how Saturn works:

Marriage is a great example for how Saturn works: Two people meet and are attracted to each other. They have fun going on dates and having romantic moments and adventures together.  That time in the relationship is almost perfect- both think that the other person is perfect and more than that- perfect for them. They say they are in love and they feel it too. Then one day something happens- maybe one of them does something that hurts or bothers the other person and maybe they even fight, or maybe one of them loses their jobs or becomes ill- the Saturn domain. In happens in any relationship but chances are they both think it means something about that one specific relationship- the one that stops being all fun and games. It can be a painful discovery- suddenly your love is not the perfect person you thought. Instead, they are weak, flawed- they are human!   Suddenly the relationship isn’t perfect- you have to find a job, deal with the illness. Saturn at this point is your best compass- it will show you how to deal best with all the hard times and how to build a new and stronger foundation. If you manage the good times will return- they will not be perfect but they will be real and meaningful- they will be real love. A commitment and understanding- a marriage of souls.  Saturn is a very unromantic planet- but a romantic at heart for he can lead you to actually realize your dreams in the real world.

If you manage do learn Saturn’s moves in battle then the good times will return, they will not be perfect, but they will be real and meaningful- they will be real love. Saturn is a very unromantic planet- but a romantic at heart for he can lead you to actually realize your dreams in the real world.

He does protect you more than you know- from becoming less than you should be.

So face your fears- knowing they are just the path not the goal and that the end of your journey is beautiful. You will stand taller and stronger having overcome Saturn and having built something lasting.